Monday, September 5, 2011

Fascist rules are made to be broken!

Central to this blog is the dictum that rules (especially stupid ones) are sometimes crying out to be broken! And today, your Uncle Tim is gonna teach you how to stand up for your rights at school.

Despite the rain, I went to Riverfest last night to peep the annual fireworks. It's a Cincinnati tradition. And it's also a tradition for me to break one of Riverfest's most idiotic rules. Since sometime in the mid-'90s, this public street festival has prohibited revelers from bringing in any beverages. This is so vendors at the event can Make Money. Authorities have even enforced this Allowed Cloud by dumping out baby bottles.

But I always smuggle in a bottle of sodie-pop in my pants pocket for myself to enjoy.

Last night, I opted to be a Pepper. I stowed a full 24-ounce bottle of Dr Pepper safely in my deep jeans pocket. As usual, I walked right past the police, and when I got inside the festival area, I extracted the soda bottle and began guzzling from it.

A dumb rule rested in tatters!

And that's how you fight school uniforms. Unless of course you have the misfortune of attending a private school, in which case you're up Bunk Gas Creek. Then again, private schools probably don't allow you to read this dangerous blog even on your own time, so that point may be moot. If you go to a public school that requires a uniform, just ignore the dress code. Let them do their worst to enforce it. When push comes to shove, they can't.

I know from experience that blind compliance doesn't work.

Also at Riverfest, my allergies cleared up. If you've read my work long enough, I think you know why.

Wouldn't you like to be a Pepper too?

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