How can a 38-year-old man write a school hijinks blog? The "why" of it simple: I'm doing it because nobody else seems to have one, so I have no competition. But the "how" of it is tougher.
What I'm really doing is showing solidarity with today's students. I expect this blog to be viable largely by coasting on my past glories. I'm not in school, but I'm a part of school. I'm in effect an outside agitator to America's broken education system. This is my second adolescence.
And these vignettes aren't limited to describing what goes on at school or school functions. On Tuesday, for instance, I stopped by the McDonald's in Finneytown to use the latrine. Some guy was monopolizing the stall in the bathroom - and rapping the entire time. But I did notice that somebody had peed all over the floor in front of the urinal.
These days, it's actually news if a public restroom doesn't have urine all over the floor. Funny, I know. Public bathrooms have pee all over the floor a vast majority of the time. But the story never gets old, because you can tell it so many different ways and always elicit a grin or three. That's what keeps people coming back to me. I'll never become a has-been, because I can keep a story fresh. I bet you didn't expect the part about the man rapping in the stall, did you?
That's why I'm considered brand-name talent.